Joan Crawford s Tips For an Entertaining Party

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Joan Crawford’s Tips For an Entertaining Party

Really,y I can’t disagree. Get planning your Christmas parties, bitches.

by Anonymous reply 54 11/26/2017

I’ll be the bearded painter.

by Anonymous reply 1 11/23/2017

Love her clear fridge.

by Anonymous reply 2 11/23/2017
by Anonymous reply 3 11/23/2017

Just have some people over and get ’em good and sauced up. Voila!

by Anonymous reply 4 11/23/2017

I am the scary Keene paintings in her chic NYC apartment, especially the Joan portrait.

Joan was a Keene enthusiast.

by Anonymous reply 5 11/23/2017

Well, I’d invite some corporate presidents and my friends from Brussels. if I knew any (?)

by Anonymous reply 6 11/23/2017

And I’d certainly invite HER, if she’d stay till the end.

by Anonymous reply 7 11/23/2017

I just wanted you to know, Joan, that your book, My Way of Life, was one, big (not so) humble-brag!

Nice ‘tips’ – that everyone can relate to surely, right?

by Anonymous reply 8 11/23/2017

Real pets may spoil your parties with their animalistic ways. instead, replace them with stuffed ones.

by Anonymous reply 9 11/23/2017

When entertaining, the thoughtful hostess serves a variety of soft drinks for the teetotalers and [italic]the younger set[/italic]. I recommend Pepsi in 16oz bottles, Pepsi in 8oz bottles, and the popular Pepsi in cans. Sure to please everyone.

by Anonymous reply 10 11/24/2017

Oh, and NO Red Weirdos.

by Anonymous reply 11 11/24/2017

What a sad picture of Joan surrounded by her Keane , Oscar, some other award, Pepsi bottle, and quite possibly a bronzed Pepsi bottle.

by Anonymous reply 12 11/24/2017

Yep, that’s pretty much it.

by Anonymous reply 13 11/24/2017

I’ll be the hippie with the unwashed feet!

by Anonymous reply 14 11/24/2017

R13 I remember when I was a very little girl our house caught on fire I’ll never forget the look on my father’s face as the flesh melted off.

by Anonymous reply 15 11/24/2017

R13 “But what about the verse that goes, ‘I remember when i drunk those 17 pints of Guinness and had such a fine time til the world spun til i heaved til it felt like the skull would tear right through the front of me face and I woke up in a puddle of me own vomit with a marching band and the eunuchs of St. Phillips playing All For Me Grog within the recesses of me addled brain. and after that I axed meself, Is That All There Is? If that’s all there is then I don’t think I could dance, much less shake out the booze. So what’ll it be, the .38 or the 12 gauge, me friend. ‘”

by Anonymous reply 16 11/24/2017

R5, Yes, and the plastic covering on the sofa, too.

by Anonymous reply 17 11/24/2017

She is trying to sound like Auntie Mame with her “eclectic” mix of guests. Except, it comes off as the evil and shallow Lucille Ball Mame version.

by Anonymous reply 18 11/24/2017

Did you notice that in that shot of JC posing coyly under her arbor, she was sitting on a sheet of a paper to protect her chic dress and tender bottom from the chilly and dank stone bench.

by Anonymous reply 19 11/24/2017

If a hairdresser isn’t available to attend is a florist or an interior decorator okay?

by Anonymous reply 20 11/24/2017

Lucy is the definitive Mame.

by Anonymous reply 21 11/24/2017

No. Dirty. Hippies.

by Anonymous reply 22 11/24/2017

Lol at the dirty hippies.

by Anonymous reply 23 11/24/2017

[quote]What a sad picture of Joan surrounded by her Keane , Oscar, some other award, Pepsi bottle, and quite possibly a bronzed Pepsi bottle.

Don’t forget the plastic slipcover on the divan. Even if one is not a filthy, smelly hippie. one is not permitted to rest one’s bottom directly on the fabric of Ms. Crawford’s furniture.

by Anonymous reply 24 11/24/2017

She was not lying when she said she adds a splash of vodka to. EVERYTHING! And not just for parties!

by Anonymous reply 25 11/24/2017

[quote]When entertaining, the thoughtful hostess serves a variety of soft drinks for the teetotalers and the younger set. I recommend Pepsi in 16oz bottles, Pepsi in 8oz bottles, and the popular Pepsi in cans. Sure to please everyone.

I don’t see any Pepsi in that fridge, Joan!

by Anonymous reply 26 11/24/2017

Spanish sow-sage makes a lovely hors d’oeuvre!

by Anonymous reply 27 11/24/2017

Fave Joan story: Christina comes home from school one day and is alarmed by a shirtless bald man in the hallway. ‘Christina’ says Joan ‘ say hello to your Uncle Yul.’

by Anonymous reply 28 11/24/2017

Good for Joan if she got to ride on the Yule Log.

by Anonymous reply 29 11/24/2017

r7 That floor doesn’t look clean to me.

by Anonymous reply 30 11/24/2017
by Anonymous reply 31 11/24/2017

Oh but it’s very exciting, when you’re young at your first dance, and you’re sitting on a small quilt chair with your eyes lowered, terrified that you’d be a wallflower. And suddenly you see two black shoes, a white waistcoat, a face, it speaks.

by Anonymous reply 32 11/24/2017

How can you just not love and adore her? Joan is everything. That clear fridge. adding a splash of vodka to everything.

by Anonymous reply 33 11/24/2017

I’m bringing the perfect hostess gift!

by Anonymous reply 34 11/24/2017

R28, I never knew that! Thanks! They sound made for each other.

[quote]Joan sees The King and I in New York and visits Yul Brynner backstage. The next day he sends her a photo of himself with a hard-on; they–surprise!–begin a brief affair.

by Anonymous reply 35 11/24/2017

I agree wholeheartedly: A SPASH OF VODKA MAKES EVERY GATHERING MORE ENJOYABLE.

by Anonymous reply 36 11/24/2017

Fresh cut flowers are a must!

by Anonymous reply 37 11/24/2017

[quote]When Joan finds out Carl Johnes is having friends over to watch Maureen Stapleton in the TV movie “Queen of the Stardust Ballroom,” Joan provides him with an ice-filled cooler of Pepsi and Diet Pepsi, chipping the ice and filling the cooler herself.

by Anonymous reply 38 11/24/2017

Joan reading her favorite holiday poem to Christina before the big holiday gathering:

“And the children were hung by the chimney with care”

by Anonymous reply 39 11/24/2017

Always, always, make a grand entrance Joan.

by Anonymous reply 40 11/24/2017

Why does everyone always hide when I carve the meat?

by Anonymous reply 41 11/24/2017

I love her. Despite her shitty relationship with two of her children, she seems like a good hostess and an interesting person. I’ve listened to most of her recordings from “My Way of Life” and in my opinion she comes off as very practical and self aware.

by Anonymous reply 42 11/24/2017

[quote]How can you just not love and adore her?

Because she was a self absorbed, sociopath alcoholic. She’s gross.

It’s about time Joanie realized that what’s attractive on stage need not necessarily be attractive off.

by Anonymous reply 43 11/24/2017

One generally can’t go wrong with a glamorous party pajama, however, a playful hot-pants-and-string-tie-blouse ensemble will signal to [italic]the younger set[/italic] that you’re game for their Pepsi-fueled shindigs.

by Anonymous reply 44 11/24/2017

And then have Donna Reed over to clean up in her cocktail dress, heels and pearls. it is the 50’s after all.

by Anonymous reply 45 11/24/2017

[quote]One generally can’t go wrong with a glamorous party pajama, however, a playful hot-pants-and-string-tie-blous – e ensemble will signal to the younger set that you’re game for their Pepsi-fueled shindigs.

R14 Caveat: This “urban romper” look kind of only works with spike heels.

by Anonymous reply 46 11/24/2017

Naturally, r46. I find it perfect for a clambake, a hootenanny, a what-have-you. the sort of get-togethers that [italic]the younger set[/italic] seem to favor.

But, no unwashed hippies, PLEASE!

by Anonymous reply 47 11/25/2017

No unwashed hippies. EVER. Of course, if a masculine, hirsute man has a little honest sweat, well, as a woman you expect it. And if his large uncut member has a bit of an undesirable fragrance. Just take a clean washcloth and clean him — make it a part of your lovemaking, before you plunge his manhood into your private woman place.

by Anonymous reply 48 11/25/2017

R44 Could I wear my hostess pants, with a crushy belt and some ballet slippers?

by Anonymous reply 49 11/25/2017

Joan looks great in r5’s photo. Love her Oscar and Pepsi bottle full of vodka directly in front of her.

by Anonymous reply 50 11/25/2017
by Anonymous reply 51 11/25/2017

r49, I’d forego the belt and opt, instead, for a beautiful embroidered tunic, or even a chic peasant blouse you see some of the more [italic]au courant[/italic] hostesses wearing. A satin ballet slipper sounds both practical and [italic]of the moment[/italic].

And, Dear Heart, if truly in doubt, go topless.

by Anonymous reply 52 11/25/2017

[quote]R49 Could I wear my hostess pants, with a crushy belt and some ballet slippers?

Ethel – I’m afraid I have to jump in here. A belt, especially a wide one, is always good for defining the waistline. And hostess, or palazzo, pants can effectively camouflage calves and thighs that may have become overly fleshy (perhaps from singing with cheeks full of peanut brittle.)

The real problem I have with your plan of attack is the flats. Please, no. Flats are for androgynous waifs. If you simply CANNOT master a spike heel (and I do not see a cause of action by which one could not), it is better to go barefoot, as it will convey a bedroomy effect.

by Anonymous reply 53 11/26/2017

And Ethel, have you considered a cozy caftan?

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